Blame Jane Austen

I have a small confession to make. Well, it's more a friendly warning.

When a lot of people get dumped they write morose poems and devote themselves to making that person's life as miserable as possible. Or worse, they become doormats and allow themselves to be walked on.

While I can't say I haven't participated in any of these popular break-up activities, I can say that I have tried to limit them in my life. I have certainly written my fair share of "love lost" poems (usually they are immediately destroyed or covered up never to be seen again, because after writing them I feel silly and pathetic). I have made a valiant effort not to seek vengeance in these situations, however I have been known to make a stinging comment or two in the presence of said "ex." These are usually hidden messages meant to only be understood by me and the guy... or anyone else who knows what happened. However, I do realize this is wrong and so, I continually fight my desire for "so called" justice.

I have been a doormat in the past, too depressed to accept that it was over (or... was never going to happen) and attached myself to the man; ready to drop everything and do what he wanted to do... just in case he ever decided to change his mind about me. Luckily, most of the guys I have dated weren't pure evil (at least I don't think so.... okay, with the exception of Chad... who I didn't really date, thankfully) and didn't take advantage of the situation.

However, In recent times I've fought those tendencies; those habits that a lot of people struggle with, and instead I've found a new way to channel my emotion.

I choose to get my vindication through Jane Austen, and by that I mean I give each man who "wrongs" me the identity of a bad guy from one of the books. I change his contact information in my phone to that character's name and each time I receive a text from him... I smile a little.

Freshman year at Harding I was hurt by a fellow student and he became George Wickham from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.



In more recent times I was burned by Sense and Sensibility's John Willoughby.



Generally their new identities are given based on their similarities of behavior. Now, before you chide me for my immaturity, it's not meant to be mean... because honestly, its just meant to be just a joke to myself. It prevents me from doing any outwardly vengeful things and most of the time... the guys gifted these separate cellphone identities end up becoming my good friends.

I wouldn't change their names in my phone, if I didn't think they'd eventually find it kind of funny. So, I guess what I am trying to say is... If you end up dating me, be prepared for the consequences of breaking my heart. You could end up being the next Mr. Elton.

Peace and Love

Thanks!

Hello All!

Well, I'm back from Colorado with a whole bunch of really awesome memories. Alyson Strother is truly one of my best friends in the whole world. Her, and her wonderful family took such great care of me for the past week or so, and I am SUPER grateful for everything.

What else, Two days ago I had my 21st Birthday. It was wonderful to be surrounded by people who love me and who I love dearly as well. Thanks to those who made it special and, even if you weren't physically there, thanks for being there in my imagination... lol.


What's on the schedule for today... I have to renew my license. ugh. It's just such a pain in the buttocks. Especially because I have this enormous cold sore on my lip. I just hope it won't be obvious when I take the picture. I don't want to ruin my awesome license photo streak. I've never had a bad state issued I.D. photo... I don't want to make this the first.

Also, I'm driving the truck because the brakes in my impala are too janky to operate. So, I feel like I'm back in high school with my old ride. The downsides are the gas milage... it sucks. And, the truck is so big that I keep thinking I'm going to run into everyone. It makes me so nervous.


well I've got to try and remedy my appearance ... Lots of work.

Peace and Love

P.S. Congratulations to Cara Blakemore on her engagement! I'm so happy for you.

Last One For 10 Days

Well, this is it guys.

In a few short hours, I will be boarding a plane to go to Dallas. I can't believe it's already here! The nice thing is that I don't work today, so I can just chill out, maybe go for a walk, and then grab a shower before I head out the door.

My Bag:



My Dad is driving me to the airport, which is awesome because we'll have some one-on-one time before I leave. I usually enjoy spending this kind of time with him, because we end up discussing interesting topics like politics and some of his high school girlfriends.

Right now my little sister, Andrea, and my mom are en route to Harding for honors symposium. A program I was ignorant of at Andrea's age. Am I jealous: yeah, a little. I wish I could have been able to do it when I was her age. Especially because it seems like all the honors symposium kids have this special secret bond. I can only imagine the sort of secret things they get to do: play volley ball, go roller skating, go undercover as secret agents... you know, norma stuff. But, I guess I'll just have to suck it up and be happy for all of the neato things I love about harding.

I guess I shouldn't feel bad, At the end of August I'll be down in Searcy for a brief visit before I go abroad and at that point, all of my friends will be in town. But really... I would love to be in Searcy for a day. If I had that opportunity, I would go to Midnight Oil, and Froyo and goodwill... and of course: Walmart! (There's no Walmart like the Searcy Walmart). It's pretty bad that I'm nostalgic for school and I won't be able to go back to Harding for classes until January, but I suppose Australia will distract me.

On to another topic. As most of you know, I've been working hard since last summer to shed a few pounds, and thus far I've been very successful. It's nice to know your own accomplishments, but its even more awesome to have someone else... And by someone else I mean the really attractive, tall, dark, handsome, guitar playing, lead singing, guy from high school who NEVER noticed you before.

Story: Last night Mom, Andrea, and I remembered that we needed to pick up a few things before we left for our respective adventures. I was wearing my ChiO's Pledge Tshirt and black spandex shorts. I have never ever worn spandex in public... (unless you count my 5 year old wardrobe), but since I've lost a good amount of weight I thought, "Why not? I look pretty good in em', Who am I gonna see at the grocery store anyway?"

While at the store I wondered off on my own to find a nice sized water bottle. (clearance for 4.49!) On my way back to find my mom, I crossed paths with one of the guys I always wished I could date in High School... but back then he was too cool. We acknowledged each other, and then he checked me out. HA! Now, who's too cool?

Spandex+Angela=Good Combination

Peace and Love... See you soon!

Birthday Surprise!

Just one day stands between me and my trip to see Alyson. I am really getting excited.

Last night, I got home from a good hang out with some of my friends and went up to my bedroom. On my bed, I found some conspicuously positioned wrapped gifts. Excitedly I jumped in the air then ran downstairs to ask my father if I could open them. He said yes!

I tore open the first package with absolute dexterity. inside the plain wrapping paper was the coolest travel bag in the world. I can't even really describe it. It can be a carry on bag, and it can expand. It can be a duffle bag or a back back... the versatility is extremely impressive. I imagined putting all sorts of travel stuff in it: toothbrush, socks, journal, books, tampons... etc. It's going to be so awesome to have in Colorado and then in Australia.

The last gift was hidden in a rusty red colored paper bag. Still going off the high of the last present, I flung the tissue paper all across my bedroom and happily littered the floor with it. With the paper out of the way, I plunged my hand into the little bag and pulled out several different things.

First, I found three pairs of good quality socks. I love socks... and these are GOooOOood socks. Then I found the black Nike sleeveless shirt I'd been wanting... Last but not least...

I found the CAMERA. Now, a camera may not seem like that big of a deal to most people, but this isn't just any camera... it's the camera that is going to record my memories of Colorado, Australia, New Zealand, Cambodia, Japan, Malaysia, and Vietnam! Its exactly the camera I've been wanting: The Olympus Stylus Tough 8010. It can go 33ft underwater and its shock resistant!

Here's a photo



I couldn't have asked for better gifts. I've got two great parents. They gave me this stuff early so that I could use them in Colorado, which is so awesome. YAY Birthday.

July 26th is the official day.

Peace and Love

Creeped On

Most people I know of seem to have a very flawed view of what a "creeper" is. They seem to think that a creeper is the guy in their Music appreciation class who stares at them a lot. Or the guy that doesn't quite get the hint that "she's just not interested." A lot of times they think Creepers are the people that talk to them a lot on facebook, and not a whole lot in real life.

However, My definition of creeper is the guy who I had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting at work today. The guy was tall and wore an old forest green polo. He walked up and spoke very quietly. Of course, I was alone in the little segway hut... with nothing to do but listen and hope he went away.



He carried on about how the police ran his i.d. like he was some sort of criminal, then proceeded to tell me that he actually was one. He said something about arson. Then told me I looked like some girl he knew. After that he asked me if I went to school "83" to which I said... "no." Somehow he brought up my personal life.

"You got a boyfriend don't you? Yeah, I bet you do. He's been mean to you ain't he? Well, we'll get him don't worry."

AHHH! (the only thing going through my head).

He hung around for a bit longer than most people would... and let me tell you. As the young, good lookin' girl I am: I was a bit perturbed. I however, made sure to tell him that the other MALE tour guide would be back at any moment. Not long after that, he left. But just in case he returned I grabbed a big heavy mallet and called our manager (a retired cop), and told him all about it.



Anyway, I suppose all is good now. I haven't seen the man since he left, and Frank, our manager, came in to check up on me. All I can say is that if ANYONE would try to assault me, they're gonna get real hurt trying to do it.

Peace and Love

What I Love About The Journey

I can't believe how far it is into July already. This is good and bad. I am super excited for some upcoming events this fall, however I am a little hesitant to rush into them. It is certainly tempting to want to press fast forward and just be where I want to be. But in doing that, I miss out on the journey.

So, to prevent my excitement from ruining my summer I have complied a list of things that I love about the "here and now."

1. Cicadas: I love the noise they make, it is actually quite soothing.

2. Copeland's Pig Farm: Whenever I drive past I roll down the windows. I secretly LOVE the smell, even though I realize that most everyone else is disgusted by it.

3. Singer/Biker Man: Every year during a tour along the canal I will occasionally run across this guy. He rides his bike along the canal at top speed with his earphones in. The Catch, he sings at the top of his lungs. I've heard everything from Kelly Clarkson hits to various rock songs... the over all theme to his music is vindication, and he's my favorite summer person.

4. Birthdays!: Stacee has a Birthday, Nicole has a birthday, and I have a Birthday! Plus Alyson has a summer birthday too. I've always been jealous of people who have birthdays during school, because they get to see their friends, but I am more excited this year. I've been making birthday gifts this year and it's fun stuff.

5. Cousins: I live walking distance from them... and their WONDERFUL trampoline.

6. Grandma and Boo Boo: I love going to my grandparents house, this is something I definitely couldn't do at school.

7. Segways: Need I say more?... yes... I get paid for it.

8. My Pups: Xena and Leo are the best doggies in the whole world. I really love them.

9. Potential: Being away from school gives me the opportunity to make a difference in my life. I have time away from everyone and I can spend it on self improvement.

10. Regis and Kelly: Yep. I don't get to watch them at school... they are too funny.

11. Being Single: More specifically I love realizing the possibility that there is someone out there for me. I like to imagine that God has been planning this for a long time. I know that I am going through experiences that will make me a perfect fit for him and likewise, he is going through things that will make him exactly what I need. In a fairy tale sort of way, when I see awesome things that I love about summer, I think about whoever he is and how I can't wait to someday share these things with him. So, for me, being single is not depressing; it is exciting and hopeful. :) I know that in either lifestyle (single or taken) I can be happy through God and the plans he has for my life.

There are all sorts of things I love about this summer, but I really ought to stop typing and start enjoying them.

Peace and Love

Accomplishment Update!

Dude, Yesterday I ran 8 miles. 8 MILES! I've never ran that far before and It was so exciting to have reached that distance. It wasn't easy but I did it. Gosh, sorry, I'm just so happy about it all.

Also, work got cancelled yesterday so I got to go to hobby lobby and the mall.

Happiness!

Hopefully tonight I will be able to go roller blading... that is... if work doesn't get cancelled, because of the rain.

Peace and Love

Also: Random photo of the day...

There Is No Real Direction For This Post, But I Had Fun Writing It

I didn't exercise yesterday, which was not fun. I was trying to have the odd muscle in the bottom of my foot heal up so it wouldn't turn into some kind of terrible injury. I think it would ruin everything this summer if I were somehow, unable to run. I'm starting to get addicted to exercise and it feels so good.

I have brand new asics running shoes, and some new sporty sunglasses. Let me tell you, they're beckoning me. But it's not just the shoes that make me want to run. Its the knowledge that with every step, I am becoming more and more fit. My heart is stronger and my muscles are building up more endurance. Another thing I think about when I am running, (which is probably silly but I think it anyway) Is that the more I run... the more likely I will be able to out run a psychopath rapist, if I ever happen to cross paths with one. This thought also makes me think about if it would be good to practice jogging with high heels on. . . Nah.



So hopefully, by the end of the summer I will be ten or so pounds lighter AND able to run away from any scary bad guy.

Sorry about all these weight loss blog posts. They just motivate me to get up off my pah-toot, and live my life.

DUDE!!!!!!!

Regis just said Bette White will have her OWN calendar. Just thought I'd pass that little tid bit of info along.

ON another topic.
I can't decide if I think facebook relationships are cute or disgusting. What I mean by that: is the people who are dating and all their posts to each other pop up on MY feed. "hey babe, text me later." "I love you sweetie." etc. My initial reaction is to gag, but then I think about how I wish I could have that with someone. I really like the sappy stuff and I do think its neat that they aren't afraid of what other people think of their relationship. They post those things anyway. I can't wait until I find someone to post cute things to, and someone who will post those things on my walls well.





ah the 21st Century. I do miss the idea of writing letters and actual phone conversations but I suppose it's just the time we live in.

Today, and the past few days, I've been filled with hope. I feel like there's something AWESOME waiting for me. Maybe the "something" is someone. Either way it's awesome. Call it intuition or just a feeling, but I am so excited.

Tonight I am either going to O.A.R. with Lauren Grelle or I am rollerblading downtown with Lauren Grelle. :) It should be a good night. I have a blessed life.

COUNTDOWNS:

Colorado: 8 or 7 days?
Australia: 60 or 59 days?

Peace and Love

Water

Today was hot, and by hot I mean: sticky, gooey, humid, and murderous. So, my response was to stay hydrated. I love water. It's pretty much the only thing I drink besides coffee. And hydration is very VERY important on hot days like these.

How to know if you need hydration:
1. The feeling of irritability
2. Headache
3. Drowsiness
4. Your pee is yellow and very scented.

The remedy is water. I LOVE IT. Even though I have to pee a lot when I drink it.

Drink some H2O.

Peace and Love

Ouch, My Muscles.

My body is aching in a way that I haven't felt since I was in high school swimming. The biggest surprise is how sore my core is. I'm not any kind of body builder but I have a pretty good center. I work on it all the time, so to have it ache with every movement is just odd.

Why am I so freaking sore? I spent yesterday and the day before hiking, and it was so worth it. I love the outdoors and something magical happens to me when I am surrounded by God's creation in that way. Yesterday, in particular, was perfect! My family and I went to Clifty Falls State Park for some activity and time to spend all together. We climbed up and down through dense woods then had to hop from rock to rock through a clear water creek. The temperature was warm and the sun was out so my sister, Andrea, and I took off our shirts and just wore our bathing suit tops.



This was the first time in years that I've gone around in public with just a bathing suit top and shorts on. I guess it means that my confidence is going up, because I didn't feel self conscious about it at all. It's really just encouraging to me... Last summer, I wouldn't have even dreamed of showing off my tummy to the sun. This summer, I am thirty pounds lighter and I feel beautiful. To be healthy, from a medical standpoint, I am still looking to lose another ten. But know that I am proud of how much I've accomplished, truly by the grace of God. I guess this is my encouragement to anyone who feels frustrated with weight loss.

It's hard, yes. But it's worth it. And, even if you have a long long way to go... you can do it!

After returning from Madison, Indiana, Mom and I went to Kohls and Target. I was able to get a brand new pair of running shoes! This makes me want to go for a run right now, however... my poor muscles... they may not be able to handle it. I guess we'll have to see.

I work this afternoon with Lauren Grelle.

It's going to be a beautiful day. I am happy and confident in who I am.

Peace and Love

Surprise! I Have Awesome Friends!

What do I love?

I love friends... that you thought were gone for good, but when they see you struggling, they reappear. Praise Jesus. It's so nice to hear from a friend I thought was "too cool" for me. Then after he saw my depressing facebook status, he texted me asking me if I was okay. When I told him what was bothering me he proceeded to encourage and cheer me up. I know I've doubted his friendship before, and probably still will in the future. But when the serious stuff happens. It's nice to know that he isn't oblivious and that he does care.

N.P.W. Not too bad of a guy.



What else do I love? Nothing is more emotionally cleansing that long walks with my mom. Talking about life, love, loss, and how to spiritually cope with it all. I will miss these walks when I am in Australia.

And... I can't forget...

Coffee. Life would be so bleak without it.

I am most thankful for everyone who continues to care about me. I don't deserve it most of the time but it is so wonderful to know that I can talk to most of my friends and you guys will really listen. :)
People I really respect and love... that I can think of right now:

Alyson Strother
Paige Walton
Cara Blakemore
Nancy DeCamp
Brian Short
Stacee Krebs
Amanda Wright
Andrea DeCamp
Mike DeCamp
Nicole Thoman
Gil Gildner
Katherine Kilpatrick
Kailey Stevens

And so many more. Someday, I will return the favor. If you ever need anything or or just someone to talk to. Don't hesitate to ask me.

"Whatever"

Today sort of sucks.

I don't really want to go into the details. But sometimes people can be really mean.
ugh.

Peace and Love... I guess.