A Letter To Myself

Dear Angela,

Please stop being hormonal. Whatever happens, happens. Maybe it's supposed to happen, and maybe it's chance. Who knows really. The point I'm trying to make here is that you shouldn't try to control it. Just relax, breathe, and stop spazzing.

It hasn't happened yet. Maybe what your dreading won't come about. Just please try to have fun and forget about it.

Just be yourself. Hope for the best. Get over it.

Oh, and pray.

Peace and Love

Your dear friend,
Angela

Mean!

I got a computer graphics project back today... and was pretty angry to say the least.

"It looks like it could have been done on Word." -Tim Cox-

It pretty much crushed me. It's not like I spent hours upon hours on it or anything. ugh. Is this really what I want to do?
Also, I broke my sunglasses and lost my keys.

At least there's someone awesome around to cheer me up right now.

I'm thanking God for everyday that he's around.

Beautiful Mess

Something really creepy is going on right now with my iTunes. Its on shuffle, and it started playing my current favorite Jason Mraz song, Beautiful Mess...

After that it is supposed to pick random songs from my entire library of music. For some reason, the last 4 or 5 songs have been By Jason Mraz and three have been different versions of "Beautiful Mess" is this a sign? idk. But I like it.

Whats new.

I'm tired. and I feel sort of icky because I just woke up from a nap, and I didn't get much sleep last night because I was on skype until somewhere around 3am.

I want to say that I have no idea what's gotten into me... but I think I know exactly what's gotten into me. AND, I know It's early to say anything, but I hope that it stays.

Anything else>>>....

It's going to be a busy two weeks before I go home... and I don't want to go anymore. I mean, I'm excited to see my family and dogs and old friends. I'm thrilled to be making money and working for Segway some more. But I feel like I've finally got something holding me here in Searcy. This is the first time in a long time, I would have rather stayed at school. I'm a little crazy.

Peace and Love.

A Hot Curly Chaos

Bad things happen when I try to curl my hair on my own...




The Solution:




Peace and Love

Storms and Slacking

Sorry about spazzing in the last blog. I am a dummy sometimes. :)

Okay: Blog NOT about "boy"

Apparently there is a 70% chance of tornados in Little Rock tonight. Normally I wouldn't think this were a big deal but my bible teacher, Devon Swindle, admitted in class today that meteorology is a hobby of his and warned us. He said that he'd never seen the chances of tornados over 30% before. And, If a man of God is warning me about the weather... I think it would be a good idea to pay heed.



I was a little worried about my plans tonight being foiled because of the weather, however the boy sitting next to me in class turned to me with a wary expression and said, "Crap, I have to drive my friend to the airport tonight." which is an hour away in little rock.

I no longer feel so bad.

I skipped my Graphic Design Profession class today. barf. This week has really been the week for me to slack off on my studies. I haven't done any homework all week. I just keep putting it off. So, following the pattern of slack-atude that I have developed, I chose to instead get some coffee. On the way to Java City, I ran into my old pal, Nate White. It was strange and nostalgic chatting it up with him. Sometimes I miss last year.

After a bit I made it to Java City and ordered a pumpkin latté from the barista. I always like it when this particular barista works... because she seems grumpy but in reality, she's a really sweet lady. She always wears this crescent moon necklace. It's the only shred of personality she shows in her apparel.

Today, we talked about the weather and our impending doom because of it. She enjoys watching the storms. I'm glad I've talked to her. This is where I make a plug to be nice to those who work at java city or anywhere in the service industry, because you might be surprised. There's a little more to everyone that what they show on appearance. :-)



Peace and Love

Happy Times.

Life is swell. :)

A Good Start.

Well... this week is going swimmingly. I suppose I should update on my function situation... but I'm not going to. I said when I started this blog that it wasn't going to be ALL about the men in my life (or not in my life). So... there. Privacy maintained.

On another side note, I cleaned out the interior of my car today with one of those pay-vac things. Then I went and bought air freshener. It's been way overdue and I'm glad that was accomplished.

Also, I went on a brief run today. That is, until I got a peculiar stomach ache and had to stop before I pooped my pants. yuck. But, before I managed to stop a car full of men drove past and they yelled, "Wooooo!"

This hasn't happened to me before and I relished the compliment. I know it's probably degrading, and chauvinistic... but I couldn't care less. I feel like my hard work and exercise is finally paying off. This among other things makes for one happy Angela! (not mangela)

Peace and love

"UDDER"-ly Irritated

Today has been a highly frustrating and annoying day. First, I'm supposed to find this guy and recite a poem for him so that he will go to my function with me. technically, All he said was that he wanted me to ask him in person and not just on facebook, but I'm Angela... so that means it has to be done in a strange way.

Here's the poem:
Some paintballs are red
Others are Indigo
Please come to my function
so that I can shoot you...

I don't know who would say "no" to that. But, I have lately found myself thinking that I am either ballin' or hideous. I think its safe to say I fall somewhere in between. I kind of... sort of... hope that I'm closer to Ballin'.



Anyway. I keep trying to find this person, but he is like an endangered species on this campus. I mean, COME ON! If you want me to ask you in person... then freaking be present! I bet that I could find a dodo bird with a four leaf clover in its mouth singing korean pop music before I found my potential date. I do not like looking for people who happen to be M.I.A.

Other than that... Normal stuff has been happening. Unfortunately I haven't been able to pay much attention to any of that because of my current mission.

It also happens that the boy I'm trying to take to my function... is... the boy I've mentioned in these past few blogs. So, not only do I need to find him because I want him to go with me to the paintball function. I really want to see him, because I want to see him. ugh I am utterly hopeless.

Speaking of the word "utterly" I used think it was spelled like this: "Udderly" you know... like a cow's udders.

I've always been a little off.

Shopping and Function.

Okay guys. I did it.

I asked him to go with me to the paintball function. I'm so excited to go with him this Saturday. Is it silly to like him? eh. Who cares.

I went shopping with Nicole Thoman yesterday. We'd saved up our money all semester and spent it. Here's a picture from our adventures...



At first it was hard to spend all of that money. But, it didn't take long to get rid of it. I bought a lot of clothing and accessories however, my favorite purchase was probably the book Jane Eyre. I've always wanted to read it. I heard it has a good ending.

I wonder if the function will have a good ending. Worst that could happen: We'll just be great friend? that's not so bad.

idk. My thoughts are pretty scattered right now. I shouldn't be writing.

What I want

Thing I want:
a honey packet
CS5
excellence
a witty tattoo
a date?
more coconut creamer
to know how to start a fire in the woods
intrigue
knowledge of higher vocabulary. words like: Quixotic and Tempestuous
a sitar
a pedicure
a hug from my mom and dad.

Things I don't Want:
another "C" in French class
to get really fat
to have someone say they think I'm not talented... (I know.)
cavities

Study Break.

Sometimes when you've had a long day, the only thing that makes it better is a nice, hearty, whole wheat, peanut butter bagel. Oh and a nice cool glass of skim milk.

I LOVE IT.

Now, to art history...

Forget me?

Want to know something that really angers me? Here goes:

Sometime near the beginning of the year I told one of my friends that I "liked" a guy that we both knew. This was before I had gotten to know him.

I have since conversed with him and am not interested in him at all. He's too immature for me. Well, Ever since the moment I told her about this guy... They've been hanging out non-stop. If I see him: She's there too! Her facebook status says in a relationship. He's always waiting for her everywhere.

WHy does this annoy me? Not because I want him.. that is just not the case.
No, what irritates me, is that I straight up TOLD HER, that I was interested in him... and now they're together. She doesn't even know that I'm not into him anymore. Thats just mean.

So today, when I was leaving chapel I saw the boy waiting in the back of the benson. (a strange thing considering he always rushes out in the herd to the CAF) (not that I stalked him, its just something that I noticed... when I liked him earlier). And right as I was about to pass him... My "Friend" came up, met him, and they walked off together. La la la, flowers and happiness.

I, on the other hand, felt rather bitter. It's spring, animals are getting it on, even the flowers are doing it... (The proof is all over my impala) How come they get each other, and I am single. Being a woman is frustrating. For some reason I ALWAYS feel like I want a man. Not just any man... THE man. So, from time to time, I get a little jealous.

There I am, alone in the auditorium. I stormed off in the other direction. "No fair!" I'm so irritated that instead of taking the sidewalk like every other harding student... I walk straight into the grass. "There must be something more than this provincial life!" (I watched Beauty and the Beast yesterday). "This sucks, I never even get to see the guy I like."

I whip my head to the left... and he's RIGHT THERE! shoot. The cute guy from my last blog. Gulp.

He follows me all the way to the student center, through the crowds and nearly to my P.O. box. The whole time I'm thinking. "Dear Jesus, PLEASE let him talk to me. Let him remember me. I think he's so cute!!!!"

Then he disappears to his mail box area. "Drat. Oh well, I can't expect someone I've met once. randomly, for two seconds. to remember me...

I turn and begin to leave. Then I felt someone touch my shoulder. ITS HIM!!! ahh. "Hey!" he says.

It made the whole day better. He didn't forget who I was.

Now, I know, that I'm being a little silly. And, I fully don't expect this to be "anything." So, don't worry about me being retarded for any prolonged period of time (i.e. Fancher, Schulz, etc). I have a good head on my shoulders. I know that he's just being friendly. I think I just have a tiny crush. little bitty one. Miniscule really. And, pleas don't freakout over me writing thing on here. It should be really only you three (Stacee, Stephanie, Nicole) who read this.

Anyway, want more "deets" call me or message.

But I am a happy, unforgotten, woman.

Peace and Love

Good Bye Bollywood: Thank You Lord.

Spring Sing is history. I am overjoyed to say that It is DONE!

How did we do? I felt pretty good about it... The judges... not so much. Probably partly because some un-identified show members were spotted making fun of another show... and probably partly because... well... It wasn't that great. At least I didn't think so.

I think a lot of it had to do with us not leading the girls well... but a TON of it had to do with attitudes at practice and not paying attention. Jerks. Anyway. Its over and I cool with it. I decided a long time ago not to care, and I'm not caring. Its wonderful...

Actually, I'm peachy.

After the Spring Sing finale, I went on stage and said "hi" to all of my friends like everyone else. But, as the stage started to clear, I met someone, who came up to me, said he liked my solo and that we should be friends... then gave me a hug. It was a very friendly gesture... but it got be excited and flustered like a middle school girl. I mean, it didn't seem like it was a, "hi, I want to be your friend hug." it felt like a: "hi, I think I might be interested in you hug."

Either way, it cheered me up. And even though I doubt I may ever converse with this person again. It was flattering to have met the fellow in that manner. And honestly, I don't really care if I meet him again. But, I am aware that I sound sort of immature.

This is why a total of FOUR people ever see this blog. Mental note: NEVER TELL ANYONE ELSE ABOUT THIS BLOG>


Peace and Love

In the Good Old Summertime

I feel ill every evening. I think I am all out of healthy food and my stomach doesn't agree with what I eat. For example... This past evening, I went and ate at Doc's with my family. I ordered spicy/ creamy chicken and shrimp pasta, and now my insides are churning.

Never have I wanted to eat a simple apple instead for so long. I honestly don't see what everyone sees in Doc's anyway. The lighting is bad and they have a very limited meal selection. However, our service was nice; the waitress had the most adorable munchkin voice. It was sickeningly cute.

After having had dinner, Andrea and I went back to my room and watched, "In the Good Old Summer Time" with Judy Garland and Van Johnson. (One of my favorite love stories) and I was wonderful.




When I watch that movie, and see the end clip I always realize how trashy our movie society is. There is more tension and romance in the final scene than in most big hollywood chick flicks today... (and there is much more clothing involved as well). Why do we have to degrade and de-clothe a girl to make a movie "romance." The sex is implied in good movies... not in every other scene from all possible angles.

It makes me feel sad, like girls have to show it all off for any guy to pay attention to them. Why can't we just be classy and get to know us for who we are. If we stop flaunting everything, maybe men will take us seriously. When we dress trashy, it makes us lower our standards, and lets men (subconsciously) believe we are inferior.

Think about it.

Peace and Love

untitled.... doing this during computer graphics class

My brain is aching. It is the beginning of a LONG weekend and its only Thursday. I find myself wondering if I will make it sane. Its really weird, I've noticed myself becoming oddly irritable lately. People have asked me simple questions and I respond my snapping at them.

I really need to lighten up.

Family will be here very very soon.

Shows go on.

I need to be positive for everyone around me.

Peace and Love