Wednesday, March 31, 2010


I am starting to get a little indecisive about my major. Do I really want to be a Graphic Designer? I love drawing and painting so much, that I wish I could focus my studies towards the fine arts.

Surprisingly, I think Dr. Choate's art history class has helped inspire this urge to create. Not only that but I have really and truly made some works this year that I sincerely love! What if all I did was art? I bet I could get great at it in NO time, all I have to do is just that. I worry that I am going to get way into my major and discover that I have no passion or joy for graphic design. Then what will I do?

If it weren't for money and security, I would invest 100% of my time into painting, drawing, mixed media, sculpture, and writing. I wish I knew where my future is going. If I knew I was going to get married, if he were able to support me and a family financially then maybe I could pursue art seriously. And, what if I succeeded!

Arrogant as this may sound, I've seen myself improve in many areas artistically. I feel like I could be truly great at art. I know I have the potential... just not the time or the means. I am constantly drawing, and I am at the point where... I love what I draw! I am confident in my skills, I just want to unleash them... but I feel held back.

I want to be a good wife and mother someday. I want to support a family, but how can that be possible without the security of annual income?

SO torn.

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