Tuesday, August 6, 2013

I Should Have Waited 6 Years

Okay guys, I need to fess up to something I did. Something...I'm kind of ashamed of. 

I signed up for online dating on match.com. Yep, paid for a month subscription and everything (actually, my Mom paid for it...but lets not hold that against anyone). 

I know what you're doing now: laughing, rolling your eyes, heavily sighing, "tsk tsk"-ing, deciding once and for all that I really am as ridiculous as you originally thought. Yeah, I'm actually doing those same things right now too. 

At least let me defend my reasons for signing up. 

1. I've been out of state at school for 5 years. I'd like to date, but I honestly don't know anyone to even make connections.

2. I really hate the "club scene." I just feel like it isn't a great environment for really meeting the type of people I'm looking for.

3. Most people say they'll wait until their 30 to try online dating... but I thought, "Gee, If I don't want to have to wait until then, why not just give it a try now, while I'm young, attractive, and my eggs aren't yet at risk of drying up into a fine white powder (They don't do that, but wouldn't that be weird)? I'd rather not wait around forever."

4. I've had several friends who had great luck online dating. One of them is in a pretty serious relationship right now, and really loves the guy. 

5. Let's be real: I've got nothing better to do.

So basically I thought I'd set up an account, and see what happened. I have to say, I started out pretty optimistic about the whole thing. I think that's one of my better qualities; if I don't know what to expect, I anticipate a positive outcome. This, however has been one of those times I've been somewhat disappointed.

I made my profile Saturday? Friday? and at first it went well. I had tons of emails and winks from guys and I couldn't wait to check them out. Could it really be that easy? I thought. I just...email a guy I think is right for me? But oh, how wrong I've been so far. 

The only guys who seem to like me are 40+ years old and really unattractive. My profile says I'm looking for people a little closer to my age. It also says I'm looking for Christians. So, why do the opposite types of guys keep sending me creepy little winks? 

Guys, do you know what these winks say to me? Hi, I'd like to use your shampoo as cereal milk. or I think you'd like me, after you got used to my over active sweat glands. I don't mean to be picky. I know these guys are out here just looking for love. But, I wish they'd respect what my preferences are. 

Also, you know how I mentioned that most people don't give into online dating until they're 35...this is true. I thought, for some reason, there might be more guys on there who were my age. It's not awful; there are a handful of good prospects. It's just the young guys aren't winking at me, and the old guys (who could've gone camping with my Dad as a cub scout) are. 

What is wrong with this world!? 

So here we go. I'm going to keep it going for this month, since my mom I paid for it. But unless something balls-awesome happens...I'm just going to close up my account. I can't handle feeling like a 13 year old girl in the middle ages, who just started her period. You know, like now all the creepy old rich lords want to marry the little kid, and make little babies.

Maybe I should've just waited until I was 30.

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